It's like Livejournal, only I'm not overly emotional anymore!

I absolutely hate starting these things. It feels like I have to introduce myself which is absolutely ridiculous because if you're reading this, you most likely know who I am already so saying "I'm a twenty some year old lesbian grad student with a winning smile and charming personality," is pointless.

I also feel obligated to state why I decided to blog. There a lots of reasons I guess; it's easier to describe what's going on in my life all at once than having to recount it to everyone who asks(does that make me sound like a bitch?), it makes me feels mildly productive, and frankly, mostly boredom. Now that that obligation is out of the way, I'm just going to begin this like I've been writing this blog forever. 

Wait, before I begin, I sound really sporadic up there. I really need to work on getting my ADHD in check.  

Yesterday was my first day as a Graduate student for Clinical Psychology. Those who know me well, or even not so well, if I'm honest, know that I can be a fairly anxious person. I'm an anxious "worry wart" in the best of circumstances, let alone in a situation I am completely unfamiliar with. Prior to yesterday, I had only been to the Millersville campus a whopping total of two times. I was there once in March for my interview, and once when we first arrived to visit the Bursar's office. Therefore, I did not and still do not know the campus well at all.  This alone could have created a sense of impending doom in my head. 

I am also cursed with my family's absolutely abysmal sense of direction. To my "Carmike friends" who are reading this, I was still not completely sure how to get to the theatre in July. That's how bad my sense of direction is. Because of that, we rely heavily on our GPS, 'Emily', to get us around. Normally, dear Emily is very helpful and informative, taking us on roads that make sense. Unfortunately, no roads make sense out here. They will change their names half way through, they will appear out of nowhere, and sometimes they will randomly end. Yesterday was especially bad. Emily decided that I did not need to go on major and simple highways. Instead, she thought I would enjoy seeing scenic and rural Pennsylvania. 

Now, this is going to give you insight into my bizarre psyche. A glimpse into my thought patterns: 

"Oh my god, where am I? Oh well, Emily won't let me down. Huh, there sure are a lot of cornfields here....Ha, It's like children of the corn. Wait...it's like Children of the Corn. I bet there are evil little kids hiding in there. What if my car breaks down and I get attacked by them? Wait, they probably aren't real. But what if my car did break down? I have no idea where I am, I'd be lost forever! Oh! And I'd be late for school...I bet they'd kick me out..." 

Seriously, that's how I think. It's a problem. 

I finally arrive on campus, and immediately begin to panic again. My student loan check has not arrived yet(Thanks bureaucracy!) so I haven't been able to buy a parking pass yet. There is a sign on campus that says "MU passes only, all others will be ticketed-booted and towed." I thought that it was unlikely that my car would be booted but it still caused me to become panicky. 

Wow, this is getting long and honestly, making me sound like a crazy person. So, I will not mention getting lost walking around campus, or the anxious and irrational fear I had of my professor turning to me and telling me to get out because I didn't have my books yet. 

Now onto the actual classes. They were phenomenal. My first class was Psychotherapy and Intervention. This is the class where I will get my first client in five weeks. We will spend the first five weeks intensely learning counseling methods and then we will be assigned an undergraduate student who has signed up for counseling services. Over the course of the semester, we will film ourselves and chart our, as well as the clients, improvement. This is really intense, terrifying, and exciting. I was honestly shocked that I would be given a client so soon into the program. 

My second class was Psychopathology. I ADORED this class. The professor is very knowledgeable and encourages discussion. The first class we talked, ironically enough, about anxiety disorders. I learned more in the one class I had than I did in the entire semester of Abnormal Psychology that I had as an undergrad. 

Over all, despite my anxiety, I really really enjoyed my first day. : )